I have meandered my way back to Mali after a vacation in Canada and a stint at EWB’s national office in Toronto. Sevare today is a different place now than when I left a few weeks ago. The rains have come and everything is blooming and growing. The fields beside work are full of millet and maize over 8 feet high. The air is thick with that something that smells like green. It’s humid. You feel it when you breath as the humidity jumps into your lungs and you are swimming compared to the dry dust of a few months ago. The lack of light is startling, the darkness at night seems invincible and all consuming. The moon is not out and my eyes acclimatized to humming fluorescent lights radiating down on me. So much that I even bought a second light bulb for the old house.

I have trouble believing I am only kilometres away from the Sahara. The heat is down to a bearable level. I no longer feel as though the air itself is attacking me. My home has become a haven of mice and dust in my absence, although I was happy to find a nice new table sitting the corner.

I do the same things I used to but now it is different. I eat the same bowl of beans and couscous but it now tastes different, more earthy and bland. I notice the crunch of little rocks. It’s amazing how much you influence how you experience the world. My home here that used to seem nice to me know feels a little dirty and unfriendly. The mice who used to be my roommates are now just pests. Everything feels slower. At first I thought the pace of life in Mali must have changed because it is the end of the rainy season. Then I realized it wasn’t Mali that had changed but my perceptions.

As always life here is emotional. The first few days provided a total change every six hours from bouncing off the walls happy to banging my head on the walls. When I first arrived I felt utterly alone. After stepping off the plane I had tasks to keep my mind busy, get a taxi, go to hotel, get money from the bank, extend my visa, get on the bus to Sevare. Then I was left alone with my thoughts. My whole support network was now attached to me only through an internet umbilical cord floating somewhere in cyberspace. Here I am not quite able to fit in with the manly men who want to be seen as powerful so they put others down. Nor do I fit in with the women with whom I have very little in common. That’s looking at things pessimisticly though. I have some good friends here who make me happy. I can meet people on the street. There are people in the street. Life is lived in public here. Children are often referred to as a “jeune du cartier” or a child of the neighbourhood. Brought up mostly by their parents but in part by everyone else. A woman here can set a child who she’s never seen before straight if they are misbehaving. In Canada you would probably get prosecuted for trying to parent someone else’s child. I have started to lose my feeling of loneliness and am feeling at home again.

I am reenergized. I realized that my whole life I living off of borrowed energy from others. In Mali that wasn’t the case. On a slow day I am probably the third most energetic person within a 200 km radius. I was putting out but getting nothing back and soon not putting out as much. Spending a lot of time overseas makes you reorganize your life. Are you going to have a support network back in Canada or in Mali or both? You don’t know where your home is? Is Sevare my home or just some place I am working. Anyway it was good to consolidate and take stock. Look back on a year of learning and loving. Figure out where I am headed and how I’m going to get there. For now I’m headed to check out my peanut farm and I’m going by bike.

So I have decided to make my blog a priority. I have also decided to change it up. Rather than just logistical type updates I’m going to have some postings that are a little more journalesque. I want to do this for two reasons. Those who are keen enough to actually read this far are probably my friends, you may be interested in how I’m doing and feeling. This will keep you more up to date with my joys and sorrows. The other is for people who want to know what it is like living far from home in a place that to you feels strange. Of course my experience is just that of one person but I feel it will show people what goes through your mind. Anyway this means I’ll have to actually post on a regular basis. Don’t be shy to reply. Usually a post will net me about two replies so it’s not like I’m inundated with emails.
See you all.